I feel that there are better ways in which to disseminate the following information, but this letter will have to suffice. First off, Mr. Sidhe Babbler IV will do everything in his power to muster enough force to drag men out of their beds in the dead of night and castrate them. No wonder corruption is endemic to our society; I overheard one of Sidhe's apparatchiks say, "The few of us who complain regularly about Sidhe's lamentations are simply spoiling the party." This quotation demonstrates the power of language, as it epitomizes the "us/them" dichotomy within hegemonic discourse. As for me, I prefer to use language to shoo Sidhe away like the annoying bug that he is. I'll try not to dwell on this, but he does, occasionally, make a valid point. But when he says that the best way to serve one's country is to exert more and more control over other individuals, that's where the facts end and the ludicrousness begins. We could opt to sit back and let Sidhe truck away our freedoms for safekeeping. Most people, however, would argue that the cost in people's lives and self-esteem is an extremely high price to pay for such inaction on our part.
Sidhe is like a broken record, using the same tired cliches about family and education and safer streets, yet he is trying hard to convince a substantial number of barbaric numskulls to see to it that all patriotic endeavors are directed down blind alleys, where they end in frustration and discouragement. He presumably believes that the "hundredth-monkey phenomenon" will spontaneously incite domineering thingyalorums to behave likewise. The reality, however, is that the point is that if everyone spent just five minutes a day thinking about ways to tell Sidhe where he can stick it, we'd all be a lot better off. Is five minutes a day too much to ask for the promise of a better tomorrow? I hope not, but then again, Sidhe's adherents all have serious personal problems. In fact, the way he keeps them loyal to him is by encouraging and exacerbating these problems rather than by helping to overcome them. As everyone knows, even Sidhe's most ribald apologists are trained in the use of force, deadly force, advanced weaponry, and offensive and defensive tactics. What you might not know, however, is that many people think of his flighty conjectures as a joke, as something only half-serious. In fact, they're deadly serious. They're the tool by which haughty carpers will resort to ad hominem attacks on me and my family by the next full moon. A second all-too-serious item is that Sidhe wants to humiliate, subjugate, and eventually eliminate everyone who wants to force him into early retirement. Such intolerance is felt by all people, from every background. At this point in the letter, I had planned to tell you that his yes-men are the worst that humanity has to offer. However, one of my colleagues pointed out that Sidhe is filled with unrighteousness, wickedness, and maliciousness. Hence, I discarded the discourse I had previously prepared and substituted the following discussion, in which I argue that his older artifices were heinous enough. His latest ones are indisputably beyond the pale.
Think about it. Sidhe's prank phone calls do not represent progress. They represent insanity masquerading as progress. Worst of all, our children's children would never forgive us for letting Sidhe convince people that their peers are already riding the Sidhe Babbler bandwagon and will think ill of them if they don't climb aboard, too. His op-ed pieces are just a rhetorical ploy to get away from the obvious fact that given the amount of misinformation that he is circulating, I must point out that what I just wrote is not based on merely a single experience or anecdote. Rather, it is based upon the wisdom of accumulated years, spanning two continents, and proven by the fact that if you're interested in the finagling, double-dealing, chicanery, cheating, cajolery, cunning, rascality, and abject villainy by which he may attack the critical realism and impassive objectivity that are the central epistemological foundations of the scientific worldview any day now, then you'll want to consider the following very carefully. You'll especially want to consider that Sidhe says it is within his legal right to gain a respectable foothold for his pugnacious antics. Whether or not he indeed has such a right, my cause is to search for solutions that are more creative and constructive than the typically demonic ones championed by disreputable bums. I call upon men and women from all walks of life to support my cause with their life-affirming eloquence and indomitable spirit of human decency and moral righteousness. Only then will the whole world realize that Sidhe's behavior might be different if he were told that he has nephelococcygic delusions about being able to hinder economic growth and job creation. Of course, as far as Sidhe's concerned, this fact will fall into the category of, "My mind is made up; don't confuse me with the facts." That's why I'm telling you that you should never forget the three most important facets of his excuses, namely their caustic origins, their internal contradictions, and their tendentious nature. Sidhe's quips often lash audiences of stentorian, egocentric cadgers into wild storms of applause. Now, that last statement is a bit of an oversimplification, an overgeneralization. But it is nevertheless substantially true.
To be fair, we must understand that Sidhe always says the most phlegmatic things. And we must formulate that understanding into as clear and cogent a message as possible. I agree that we are being insidiously, conspiratorially, and treasonously led by deception, by bribery, by coercion, and by fear to show us a gross miscarriage of common judgment. But I also think that he can fool some of the people all of the time. He can fool all of the people some of the time. But Sidhe can't fool all of the people all of the time.
It would stand to reason that Sidhe constantly insists that we should be grateful for the precious freedom to be robbed and kicked in the face by such a noble creature as him. But he contradicts himself when he says that diseases can be defeated not through standard medical research but through the creation of a new language, one that does not stigmatize certain groups and behaviors. While I insist that he has every right to his jejune opinions, if my own experience has taught me anything, it's that by comparing today to even ten years ago and projecting the course we're on, I'd say we're in for an even more prurient, treasonous, and narrow-minded society, all thanks to Sidhe's propositions. Sidhe wonders why everyone hates him. Apparently, he never stopped to think that maybe it's because his secret passion is to break down our communities. For shame! Doesn't it strike you as odd that his faithfuls have no velleity to work beyond the predatory plasticity of his indiscretions? This raises the question: Why can't we all just get along? Whatever the answer, Sidhe has a strategy. His strategy is to produce a new generation of villainous wastrels whose opinions and prejudices, far from being enlightened and challenged, are simply legitimized. Wherever you encounter that strategy, you are dealing with Sidhe.
Viewed from all angles, Sidhe ignores the most basic ground rule of debate. In case you're not familiar with it, that rule is: attack the idea, not the person. If I understand his tricks correctly, then he commonly appoints ineffective people to important positions. He then ensures that these people stay in those positions because that makes it easy for him to throw away our freedom, our honor, and our future. Here's an eye-opener for you: We can't afford to be so uncompromising in such difficult times. I put that observation into this letter just to let you see that the basal lie that underlies all of Sidhe's insipid expositions is that coercion in the name of liberty is a valid use of state power. Translation: The sky is falling. I doubt you need any help from me to identify the supreme idiocy of those views, but you should nevertheless be aware that a central point of Sidhe's belief systems is the notion that Sidhe's imprecations provide a liberating insight into life, the universe, and everything. Perhaps he should take some new data into account and revisit that notion. I think he'd find that it would be wrong to imply that he is involved in some kind of conspiracy to encourage and exacerbate passivity in some people who might otherwise be active and responsible citizens. It would be wrong because his hypnopompic insights are far beyond the conspiracy stage. Not only that, but he has found a way to avoid compliance with government regulations, circumvent any further litigation, and calumniate helpless pettifoggers -- all by trumping up a phony emergency. It may sound strange to Sidhe when I say that it's not a question of if but only of when he will sugarcoat the past and dispense false optimism for the future, but Sidhe wants to suppress controversy and debate. Who does he think he is? I mean, I am not trying to save the world -- I gave up that pursuit a long time ago. But I am trying to acquire the input of a representative cross-section of the community in a non-threatening, inclusive environment.
Knowledge is the key that unlocks the shackles of bondage. That's why it's important for you to know that even when the facts don't fit, Sidhe sometimes tries to use them anyway. He still maintains, for instance, that his hideous terrorist organization is a benign and charitable agency. Life isn't fair. We've all known this since the beginning of time, so why is he so compelled to complain about situations over which he has no control? To rephrase that question, what meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma is he going through now? If I'm not horribly mistaken, there's a painfully simple answer. It regards the way that unlike him, when I make a mistake I'm willing to admit it. Consequently, if -- and I'm bending over backwards to maintain the illusion of "innocent until proven guilty" -- Sidhe were not actually responsible for trying to pit people against each other, then I'd stop saying that if it were up to Sidhe, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism. I have a plan to criticize Sidhe's arguments publically for their formalistic categories, their spurious claims of neutrality, and their blindness to the abuse of private power. I call this plan "Operation chastise Sidhe for not doing any research before spouting off". (Granted, I need a shorter, catchier name, but that one will do for now.) My plan's underlying motif is that you may have noticed that the moral devastations that accompany Sidhe's audacious accusations suffice to slowly but surely manufacture and compile daunting lists of imaginary transgressions committed against Sidhe. But you don't know the half of it. For starters, you might have heard the story that Sidhe once agreed to help us give the needy a helping hand, as opposed to an elbow in the face. No one has located the document in which Sidhe said that. No one has identified when or where Sidhe said that. That's because he never said it. As you might have suspected, Sidhe's jokes are built on lies and they depend on make-believe for their continuation.
If you'll allow me a minor dysphemism, nothing would make Sidhe happier than to see me swallow whatever he dishes out. Or, to phrase that a little more politely, Sidhe wants to leave helpless citizens afraid in the streets, in their jobs, and even in their homes. It gets better: He actually believes that people are pawns to be used and manipulated. I guess no one's ever told him that his stories about radicalism are particularly ridden with errors and distortions, even leaving aside the concept's initial implausibility. It has been said that it is easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince Sidhe's vicegerents to prevent the production of a new crop of uppity rash-types. That makes sense to me. I believe it's true. But it doubtlessly implies that the concepts underlying his deluded, uncivilized grievances are like the Ptolemaic astronomy, which could not have been saved by positing more epicycles or eliminating some of the more glaring discrepancies. The fundamental idea -- that the heavens revolve around the Earth -- was wrong, just as Sidhe's idea that every word that leaves his mouth is teeming with useful information is wrong.
It is not news that Sidhe's unreasonable hariolations are fraught with the gravest consequences. What speaks volumes, though, is that he used to complain about being persecuted. Now Sidhe is our primary persecutor. This reversal of roles reminds me that his assumptions are matched in their untenability only by the arrogant fervor with which they are held. If that fact hurts, get over it; it's called reality. And for another dose of reality, consider that if we keep our priorities in check, then the sea of classism, on which Sidhe so heavily relies, will begin to dry up. This is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about Sidhe's blinkered behavior, but about the way that Sidhe attributes the most distorted, bizarre, and ludicrous "meanings" to ordinary personality charcteristics. For example, if you're shy, he calls you "fearful and withdrawn". If, instead, you're the outgoing and active type, Sidhe says you're "acting out due to trauma". Why does he say such things? I would venture the answer has something to do with Comstockism. To elaborate, for some strange reason, he is worried he'll be disenfranchised and shunned by invidious, unimaginative cankered-types. The best example of this, culled from many, would have to be the time he tried to leave a large part of this country's workforce dislocated and disillusioned. Sidhe recently stated that bad things "just happen" (i.e., they're not caused by Sidhe himself). He said that with a straight face, without even cracking a smile or suppressing a giggle. He said it as if he meant it. That's scary, because there are two related questions in this matter. The first is to what extent Sidhe has tried to teach the next generation how to hate -- and whom to hate. The other is whether or not Sidhe is reluctant to resolve problems. He always just looks the other way and hopes no one will notice that he is trying to brainwash us. He wants us to believe that it's abominable to supply the missing ingredient that could stop the worldwide slide into commercialism; that's boring; that's not cool. You know what I think of that, don't you? I think that the notion that violence, mayhem, and insanity are the inevitable consequences of Sidhe's publications is pervasive. That said, let me continue. All that we have achieved may now be lost, if not in the bright flames of irreligionism, then in the dense smoke of the hateful biases promoted by shiftless pseudo-intellectuals. Sidhe is entirely mistaken if he believes that he is a perpetual victim of injustice. For all of the foregoing reasons, I can confidently claim that an armed revolt against him is morally justified. However, I assert that it is not yet strategically justified.
Sure, Sidhe can fabulize about how obscurity, evasiveness, incomprehensibility, indirectness, and ambiguity are marks of depth and brilliance. That doesn't change the fact that those of us who are too lazy or disinterested to deal summarily with macabre stirrers have no right to complain when he and his understrappers engage in the trafficking of human beings. You may not be aware of this, but there are some simple truths in this world. First, he is the type of person who can look you right in the eye and, with an expression of the utmost sincerity, tell you any kind of whopper that suits his purpose. Second, the plethora of obfuscating, multisyllabic phrases in his publications serves only to accentuate the obscurity of his prose. And finally, there are arguments that have made respectable people out of brigands like him. It's that simple. Clearly, Sidhe has been doing "in-depth research" (whatever he thinks that means) to prove that at birth, every living being is assigned a celestial serial number or frequency power spectrum. I should mention that I've been doing some research of my own. So far, I've "discovered" that I can no longer get very excited about any revelation of Sidhe's hypocrisy or crookedness. It's what I've come to expect by now. Is there, or is there not, an anal-retentive plot to place stumbling blocks in front of those of us who seek value and fulfilment in our personal and professional lives, organized through the years by bloody-minded monomaniacs? The answer to this all-important question is that not only has the plot existed, but it is now on the verge of complete fulfilment. Our goal must now be to embark on a new path towards change. If you believe that that's a worthwhile goal, then I can undeniably use your help. Let me hear from you.
www.pakin.org/complaint/I hope no one read past the first paragraph.
Make your own complaint!